Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Democracy for Donkeys

I don't particularly follow politics, nor do I read books without pictures. So when I encounter real people and real-world topics the only way I can understand them is to relate them to comic books. With elections just around the corner, I started following the candidates and their policies. Luckily, I equate these politicians to superheroes. It makes fighting evil so much easier. Here are the Democrats:

Hillary Clinton: She is Susan Storm A.K.A. The Invisible Woman. Her marriage to Bill is the perfect example of the powerhouse couple of Marvel comics. Former prez Bill Clinton is a great Mr. Fantastic. Future First Husband, Bill, is generally well-liked even after all the missteps of his administration. Kind of like Reed after siding fascist Iron Man (even Spidey asked Reed for help after the war). Sue reconciled with Reed by having a second honey-moon. Hillary stood by her man during the Lewinsky scandal. Anybody remember the waterfall picture of Hillary and Bill having an intimate moment after the scandal? Plus, the very word "invisible" says it all. Hillary is politically acute. It's obvious she influenced Bill during his presidential terms from behind the scenes. If you have any more doubts that Hillary is Sue Storm; let's look at the rest of the First Family.

Al Gore: During his tenure as Vice-President, he was characterized as stiff and robotic. But now, he's Johnny Storm. FIYAH! In the polls, he's as red-hot as you can get! He hosted Saturday Night Live, won an Oscar, and now a Nobel Peace Prize. This once boring politician has turned into a sensational celebrity. His entrance into the election race would out-shine all the other candidates. It doesn't hurt that he was Tommy Lee Jones' former roommate in college. As for The Thing; well, that's former Attorney General Janet Reno. 'Nuff said.

Barack Obama: I don't want to be racialist by analogizing Obama to a black superhero, but let's kick the ballistics: he is BLACK PANTHER. Like T'Challa, he is intelligent, charismatic and willing to speak out against government officials. He saw the consequences of war before all the other politicians. T'Challa predicted the Civil War. Maybe Congress should have read some issues of Black Panther before entering Iraq. Finally, BP would make a great leader for the Avengers if only given the chance. Kinda like a certain politician we know.

Vote unless you're a Skrull.

- Andrew Jung



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