THE STATIC AGE

Two weeks ago I promised DVD reviews, and if you noticed I failed miserably. Who am I kidding? You didn't notice, nor do you care but as long as I have this platform I'm gonna speak my mind and those of you who do read the Weekly Planet will have to put up with it. So anyway... I was slacking off due to my birthday and various other in and out of store situations, but I'm back and here they are.

Metalocalypse Season One - Skwisgaar Skwigelf, taller than a tree. Toki Wartooth, not a bumblebee. William Murderface Murderface Murderface. Pickles the Drummer, doodily doo, ding dong doodily doodily doo. Nathan Explosion! Follow the exploits of the worlds biggest band in this most brutal two disc set. Every episode to mindlessly drool over again and again. They hate their fans, but that won't stop us from obsessing over their every move. With "one cubic metal ton of hidden murder features" including music videos, interviews, and even a guitar lesson by Skwisgaar himself! Buy this now or go forth and die!

Planet Terror - You think Ash had it good with a chainsaw for a hand... well he's got nothing on Cherry Darling's machine gun leg. Toxic gas, mutated zombies, lesbians, and BBQ. What more could you want? For the last 15 years, director Robert Rodriguez has kept the fans happy with such classic out of the box flicks as From Dusk Till Dawn, El Mariachi, Sin City and more. Planet Terror is the first flick of the two-headed monster known as Grindhouse, and just another entry in this versatile film maker's every growing catalog of genre work.

Death Proof - Quentin Tarantino's half of Grindhouse delivers on the feel of a true 70's trash flick, so you'll probably hate it if you don't already. Now if you've been longing to see Kurt Russell be a badass again, don't even remotely hesitate -- just purchase. Then all you gotta do is pop it in the DVD player, sit back, and enjoy because you know what Jack Burton always says... "What the hell?!?"

Murder Party - I was born and raised here in NYC; Maspeth, Queens to be exact on the Bushwick, Brooklyn border, in the industrial area. I've seen this thing that they call "gentrification". I remember being afraid of certain parts of Brooklyn, and now I don't go to that area for another reason. An influx of drugged-up, soon-to-be drop outs living off their parents under the guise of misunderstood artists have taken over. So what if there are more bars and music venues opening up to cash in on these dingbats? Who can enjoy themselves while neck deep in guano? Am I jealous? Yes! I wish I came from money and lived in a loft where I could have bands play and host my own art shows, but that ain't gonna happen so I sit home and watch horror movies instead. Now if any of my rambling here strikes a chord, this is the movie for you.

The Set-Up: So this average guy finds an invitation to a Halloween party and since he's got nothing even remotely going on (that night or in his life in general for that matter) he decides to check it out.

The Twist: It's not a party, its a trap! A bunch of artist wannabes think that killing their guest in the name of art will impress an even bigger artist wannabe in hopes to get their hands on a grant.

The Wrap-Up: These kids obviously have no idea what it means or takes to kill someone so get ready for a bumpy ride with plenty of laughs, some quality gore and a dog on crank.

Spoilers Ahead, Read On With Caution: Murder Party teeters between horror comedy and indie flick without overstaying its welcome in either genre. All in all, I really dug it. How could I not? The dim-witted hipsters get what they deserve, and our unsuspecting guest "the real outcast" gets a happy ending. Next time, just stay in and watch horror movies.

One more week 'til Halloween, duders and dudettes. Hopefully I'll be back next week with another thrilling installment of The Static Age. That is of course if I don't get murdered by a bunch of bohos.

- Matt D.