Unkie Dev's Amazing Stuff

SUPERTURKEYS

Superman stands for all things American, and Thanksgiving is no exception. Superman loves eating turkey. Remember that one issue when a Kryptonian turkey returns from Krypton and ole' Supes destroys Metropolis trying to chop its neck off with an axe-head made of Green-K, and then Jimmy Olsen turns into a mermaid? It was awesome. The next issue had Bizarro superturkey arrive in Metropolis, cackling a hideous "Elbog, Elbog" and trying to eat pilgrims.

Batman, on the other hand, HATES turkey. There was a great Elseworlds story where Benjamin Franklin became Batman... or Turkeyman, rather. Scene One involved Benjamin "Bruce" Franklin-Wayne arguing that the turkey should be our national bird, being versatile, plentiful and indigenous. After this debate England, guns down his parents in an alley. "The British are a superstitious, cowardly lot," says Ben, "though those that fear bats and liberty deserve neither," and donning a turkey costume, beat the red-coats in the streets of Philadelphia with Turkey-rangs, electric kites and a special horse-drawn carriage shaped like a turkey. I think Mark Waid wrote it.

BLACK FRIDAY

This week we all become sharks in the shopping frenzy as the bleeding corpse of the holiday season floats ever closer. What to buy, what to buy? Drugs and illegal fire-arms make the perfect gift for the young and the old, as they are certainly the catalyst of many a new experience. Forbidden Planet does not sell these items, not even if you wink at the counter and ask to see the *wink-wink* "Back-issues," *wink-wink.*

Gift guides, however, are stupid. Suffice it to say Forbidden Planet is stocked to the snots with DVDs, t-shirts, graphic novels, comic, manga and gift certificates. Why shop anyplace else for gifts this season? Dad would LOVE some Hellboy Heroclix, and Mom is just stupid for Crisis on Infinite Earths. Why not get little sis a scale model replica of Hawkeye's bow and cowl, plus wouldn't Grandma be the talk of the nursing home in her Battlestar Galactica "Frak Me!" T-shirt? Yes. Yes she would.

FUNNY BUSINESS

The Goon: Chinatown - Eric Powell (w/a), Dark Horse. The Goon is a tough-as-nails, battle-scarred mobster who is the only thing standing between the poor schlubs he shakes down for protection money and screaming bog-lurks, giant land squids, zombies, and the occasional bowling midget. He drinks, he fights, and he carries with him deep scars. Chinatown, the Goon's first full-length original graphic novel has been eagerly anticipated by Goon fans. Chinatown promises to be a prequel of sorts, detailing secrets from the Goon's dark and mysterious past... but don't think it'll be too serious. The last time the Goon took trips down memory lane still involved slap-stick, football thugs, and his bearded circus aunt..

Multi-award winning cartoonist Eric Powell got great exposure this year working with writer Richard Donner on the "Bizarro World" storyline in Action Comics. The Chinatown graphic novel marks the beginning of what Dark Horse is calling "The Year of the Goon." Yup, 2008 will bring in new Goon merchandise and the return of the Goon comic going monthly. Indulge the disgusting misanthrope within: Read the Goon!

You should also pick up Street Fighter Volume 4: Bonus Stage (Various creators from Udon Comics). If you have ever liked Street Fighter II you will dig this. Creators like Adam Warren and Ultimates 3's Joe Madureira bring quick, fun stand alone stories of globe spanning beat-downs just in time for Thanksgiving.

DANG. Out of room. I shouldn't have spent so much time making up malarkey about Ben Franklin and his turkey vigilance. Nah, that stuff was gold. Pulitzer, thy name is "MINE!"

By Guest Contributor: Unkie Dev