THE STATIC AGE

So last Friday (not this past Friday, the one before that) as I was looking at the invoice for what new comics were coming out, my eyes practically lept out of my head when I noticed there was an all new Tales From The Crypt on-going series hitting shelves on Wednesday (not this coming Wednesday, last Wednesday). It's been years since our good friends The Crypt Keeper, The Vault Keeper, and The Old Witch have seen print. 52 years to be exact. Oh 52 why can we not escape you? I couldn't wait to have my funny bones tickled with bad puns and even worse execution. I thought of all the moral lessons I would learn from the bad decisions made by the characters in these tales -- not to mention all while having the crap scared out of me.

Then it came... Tales From The Crypt number 1, with a cover by Kyle Baker featuring the Crypt Keeper crawling out of a grave saying the phrase "What me dead?!". Boy oh boy was I already stoked, a sweet looking cover with a Mad Magazine reference and an EC Comics logo on it. But wait whats that? A different one on it as well, a big orange Z. The Z logo is for Papercutz, the company responsible for the return of Tales From The Crypt. So I open to page one and there they are, both keepers and the witch. Not only re-introducing themselves but introducing the new series as well, with the bad plays on words we've come to expect from the gang.

All very promising, then I turn to page two and everything goes to hell. Papercutz! What are you doing to me baby!!! The first tale's artwork looks like something from a rejected Nickelodeon cartoon -- not what I've come to expect from a series that had some of the greatest comic artists ever... Harvey Kurtzman, Bill Elder, and Jack Davis just to name a few. This guy (who's name I will leave out) doesn't even deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence as Austin English let alone some of comic's most respected artists.

The story itself was mediocre at best, but I just couldn't get over the look of it. The second story's art wasn't as bad as the first but the story itself made me yearn for the first tale. I know that they're aiming for a younger audience here, but the real question is why? After all these years of TFTC, with its movies and HBO show it has gained such a cult following among adults. Why would you bring the comic back in such a watered down format? I'm insulted by the fact that this comic bears the name and logo of it's predecessor. If the plan was to make a weak version of TFTC at least at a Jr. to the title so you don't throw off (and more importantly, piss off) true fans of the series. Papercutz you have disapointed not only me but every other person I have talked to about this comic.

Now, I being a God fearing American have learned over the years to forgive, forget, and give a second chance. I promise to read issue number 2, and hopefully will scratch number one up as some sort of fluke. But hear you me, if it sucks I'll be raging on again in 7 weeks. It's a bi-monthly book so at least we won't have this turd, crapping up our shelves every month.

- Matt D.